Thursday, May 30, 2013

Not being able to think of a good title for this post is driving me crazy!

What’s been driving me crazy lately?
OMG I don’t even know where to start with this one.  Do you guys have time to read a book? No? Shit ok let me try to make this short.
My older son complaining to do his homework EVERY.FUCKING.NIGHT. Suck it up buttercup you’re only in 2nd grade, wait till you get to High School than you can tell me you have A LOT of homework
My younger son throwing tantrums EVERY.FUCKING.NIGHT for not giving him something sweet, for his brother not playing the games he wants to play, for eating dinner for a million other things. Dude get your shit together you’re almost 5.
Every time I ask my husband to do something that involves talking to people in English (he knows the language but acts like he doesn’t when I’m around) he gets this panicky look on his face like I’m asking him to find the cure for cancer. You’ve lived in America for over 9 years. Are you fucking kidding me? You too get your shit together!
My husband for waiting for me to do everything and then saying things like ‘you never laugh anymore”, “I never see you in a good mood”. Umm really, let’s see; why don’t you help me around the house more and then maybe I wouldn’t always be in such a shitty mood.
So much work at work lately that I have no time for blogging, Facebook or twitter. I know I know job security BUT this sucks, even my boss is complaining about all the work. Nuff said.
Facebook for sucking so much. I post something on my page and only like 20 people see it. What’s the point of having hundreds of likes if only a handful will see it?
The girl that sits in the cubical next to mine. Annoying voice, stank attitude and above all else when her son was 4 months old she was telling another co-worker that he son was so rude. Really at 4 months? Fucking drive me crazy!
White girls getting a fake tan and looking orangey. Orange is not a fucking skin color. WTF people?
The pimples on my face that have appeared lately. I’ve always had clear skin so I don’t know what the hell is going on. I’m about to take Something Clever 2.0 advice and to Proactive

Moms judging other moms. Fuck you. Stop judging. Have you guys read Insomniac's Dream lately. This is a mother struggling. She doesn't need us to judge her, I'm so proud of all that she's doing to make ends meat and to be with her boys. That's a real mother. We do anything and everything to be good moms and sometimes it only takes one asshole to judge us to make us rethink our whole strategy. Don't judge, support!
My husband is in the process of getting a new job. This would mean us moving to a whole new neighborhood. He has a really good chance of getting it BUT we don’t know when this will happen. I’m hoping it will be before the kids start school in September so they can start a new school year in a new school and it’s always better to move in the summer than during the school year. This is completely out our control but it’s still driving me crazy. I feel like we’re in no man’s land.
My period. I’m so tired of this bitch. I’ve had it for 22 years and I’m done. I’ve done my time, I would like this cry me a red river every month bullshit to stop
NY weather. One day its cold, one day it’s hot, WTF already! Make up your mind!
Celebrities making millions for doing almost nothing. Tom Cruise doesn’t deserve 20 million a movie just because he’s Tom Cruise. Fuck that shit. Millions of people are scraping by EVERY.DAMN.MONTH just to make it and these assholes are making millions just because. 
Not winning the lottery. What’s a girl got to do to win some money?! (just joking on this one but I wouldn’t mind winning)

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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

A Perfect Mother’s Day Gift

I was talking to my husband last night about how tired I was/am all.the.time. He’s like why are you so tired? You’re always tired? You should go see a doctor. This isn't normal. Yes it is normal, I already asked countless doctors and they all say the same thing; you have a full time job, two small kids and when you come home from work you have work at home not to mention a useless husband (ok they didn't say the last part but I'm sure they were thinking it). So yes, yes I am tired. I work a full time job outside of my home, than I come home to wash dishes, make dinner, clean the house, wash dinner dishes, give the kids a shower and put them to bed. On a really good night they’re both asleep by 10:30 (this is mostly the little one because he takes afternoon naps in daycare and isn’t tired to sleep at night) and that’s when I can have ME TIME. Of course by that time I’m so tired that me time means going to bed. And tomorrow we start all over again. So as I was about to go take a shower ( a rarity at 8:45) the hubs is like you know once you (notice he said you not even suggesting to say me) put the kids to bed we can do you know what and I’m like go to sleep?? He says no the other. Hell to the fucking no I’m going off to bed. So of course he’s all mad and about to throw a tantrum and I say to him I would love to have your life for one week. 7 days! That would be my perfect Mother’s Day gift. To live my husband’s life for one week.
I would love to come home at 5:30 and be done with work. To have coffee without interruptions. To take a nap. To have someone clean the house, wash dishes and make dinner while I watch TV. To be able to eat dinner without having to get up 100 times to get something for the kids. To eat dinner without having to feed myself and one or two additional persons depending on the night. To finish dinner, get up from the table and go on the computer or watch TV while he finishes feeding the kids & cleaning up. To watch as he moves around the house constantly doing something while I lazily lounge on the couch catching up on missed shows. To hear my kids say dad every 2 minutes because they need something. And than ask him why are you so tired?
To sleep in on the weekends while he wakes up early with the kids, makes breakfast, cleans the house, does the laundry, goes food shopping, makes lunch, cleans up the house again, give kids all the things that they’ve constantly wanted since they woke up every 10 minutes (mommy I’m thirsty, mommy I want a snack, mommy he hit me, mommy can I get an apple NO not that one the other one….you get the point). I would love to be able to wake up on a Saturday and/or Sunday and not have a care in the world. I want to go to our friend’s house and have nothing to do but sit on the couch and talk to my friends. I want to see the husbands prepare dinner, feed the kids, clean up and watch the kids so they’re not killing each other.  To truly say I relaxed this weekend.
This is what I want for Mother’s Day. No fancy jewelry, no dinner reservations, no flowers or chocolates. I don’t want anything except for my husband’s life for one week.
 What is your perfect Mother's Day gift?

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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Fuck you

Fuck you. This has to be my favorite fucking word(s). I use it a lot. In honor of the letter F in ABC’s of Swearing there are some people I would like to say Fuck You to.
Disclaimer: There's A LOT of cursing in this post. If you are offended stop reading and come  back another day when there will be less.

Fuck you boss. Fuck you for being an asshole and lazy and making me do work that you should be doing. Fuck you for making me miss lunch for the last 3 weeks because I have to do your work on top of all mine. Fuck you.

Fuck you people on the train. Fuck you for not waiting for me to get out before you decide to get it because God forbid you don’t get a seat to put your big ass on. Fuck you people who walk the wrong way going up and down the stairs. Stay to your right at all times. It’s simple and everyone knows it. You’re not more special than me and I have to get to where ever I’m going just as much as you do. Fuck you.

Fuck you to my kids school. Fuck you for giving my son one sheet of homework per night and calling it homework. Fuck you for putting my son in a classroom full of kids who are clearly behind. Fuck you for allowing some parents to do their kids homework (verified by my son and teacher…yes I know, fuck you) and still promoting those kids to the next grade same way as my son whose had to do his own homework since Kindergarten. Fuck you for thinking this is the way to teach kids and think this will make them productive members of society. Fucking you for making me find and print out extra sheets so that my son’s brain can be more developed so that one day he can be something other than a homeless person. Fuck you.

Fuck you to the tenants in our building (my husband is a superintendent). Fuck you for knocking at my door at all hours of the day and night thinking that we have no life so of course I want to hear about a tiny problem that you have at 11:30 at night or better yet at 6 in the morning because you can’t do it during the day. That would make life way too easy for us. Fuck you

Fuck you to my mom (yes I said my mom). Fuck you for the last 24 years since we’ve come to America. Fuck you for putting your job first and me last. Fuck you making me do laundry (walking about a mile back and forth to the laundry mat), clean house, make my own breakfast and lunch, make dinner for both of us (most of the time), paying bills and staying home alone since I was 11. Fuck you for doing all this for the might dollar. Fuck you for making me help you out with your bills & food since I was 19 with my tiny salary because you didn’t want to waste your thousands. Fuck you for making me feel guilty about wanting to move to California to go to college so I stayed. Fuck you for not being there for me when I needed you when my kids were born.  Fuck you for leaving the country and moving to another country that you don't know anyone when you decided to retire so that you can relax and not staying to help me out (NOT FINANCIALLY) like all the other mother’s and father’s that we know. Fuck you for thinking that this is ok. IT’S NOT! Fuck you for wondering why I would not want to talk to you. Let me give you a hint: you haven’t been my mother for the last 24 years. Fuck you.

Fuck you to my husband. Fucking you for expecting me to do everything with little help from you. Fuck you for making me feel like I’m a single mother with THREE kids.  Fuck you for deciding you’re not going to do something and leaving it for me to do because let’s be honest someone has to do it. Fuck you.

Fuck you to my kids. Fuck you for driving me crazy because you fight all the time. Fuck you for not listening. Fuck you for not eating your food. Fuck you for not cleaning your room. Fuck you for crying for every tiny thing. Fuck you for making me feel guilty when I yell at you and making me cry (they don't make me feel guilty I make myself). Fuck you for making me love you so much that I worry all the time and would love nothing more than to lock you up and never let you out so I can keep you safe. Fuck you

Fuck you to me. Fuck you for not going to college and having your dream job (lawyer) and making decent money so you don't have to count every.single.dollar all.the.time. Fuck you for smoking. Fuck you for smoking (yes I know I put that twice). Fuck you for being a bitch to people who sometimes don't deserve it and not being one to those that do. Fuck you

Fuck you life. Fuck you for making EVERY.FUCKING.THING.SO. HARD. Fuck you for not giving me a break. Fuck you.

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This post is part of ABC's of Swearing Challenge.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Parenting my way

Traditional vs. non-traditional parenting. I’m not sure which my husband and I are. I guess it depends on the person looking at us.  I think we mix a little of both depending what the situation is. I’ve compiled a list of the ways we parent our children and you decide if it’s traditional or non-traditional. This list barley scratches the surface but you get the idea.
  1. I try to be as honest a possible with my kids. Yes there is a Santa Clause. No you cannot fly even thought you think your Superman.
  2. I curse in front of my kids. I try not to do it often but sometimes it slips out or I’m just so frustrated by a situation I have no choice
  3. As of the last 3 months my kids mostly sleep in their own beds. Once a week they will sleep with me. Until 3 months ago my oldest slept with us in the same bed since the day he was born and the little one in his crib attached to our bed
  4. What I make the kids will eat. I don’t do separate meals for the kids and us. I have a friend who used to cook 3-4 different dinners every night to accommodate her husband, her two sons and herself. That will never happen at my house! I want my kids to get their taste buds use to all kinds of foods so that when they grow up they’re not living on chicken nuggets, pizza & hot dogs. Oh and also WTF? 4 dinners every night? This woman (even though she's my friend and I love her) clearly has way too much time on her hands
  5. We’re trying to teach our kids to be good kids. Bullying is never an option. I’ve always told my kids that making fun of someone is not ok and if I ever catch them do it I will call them out and make sure that they know there were being little shits and this is not ok. At the same time I’m trying to teach them never to allow to be bullied and if someone does they should be comfortable telling us and then you better believe it mommy will take care of it.
  6. Always use words before your fists but if someone hits you first than by all means hit them back. This applies to woman also. No girl has a right to hit my son just because he’s a guy. Fair is fair. He won’t hit you as long as you don’t hit him.
  7. Always respect girls. Never call a girl a bitch or worst (or at least not to her face cause let’s face it girls we can be bitches)
  8. We try to teach them that even thought we love them the most in this world and most of the people that we know are good there are some really bad people in this world. Don’t assume that no one will ever hurt you.
  9. Things will not be served to your on a silver spoon. You want something you have to work for it.
  10. Mommy and daddy as long as we’re alive will always be there for you no matter what. We will support you in anything you decide to do in life. We will always be your greatest fans and will help you in any way we can…always!

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This post is part of ABC's of Swearing Challenge.

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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

You know what A stands for don’t you??

It’s starting peeps. The ABC's of Swearing Challenge. So who’s an asshole? Everyone’s an asshole. Every single person that I’ve ever met has been an asshole at least once, even me.
If you have a blog, Facebook page or twitter you’ve come across assholes daily. For whatever reason people think they can be assholes if they don’t agree with something that a blogger/Facebook admin wrote. They like to comment with their snarky comments. This part isn’t so bad the bad part is when they decide to report you to Facebook for “improper behavior”. “Improper behavior” in their opinion. Who gives you the right to be an asshole and report someone? Don’t read that bloggers blog or unlike a Facebook Page. Don’t be an asshole and report. These are the opinions of bloggers/FB page admin and guess what you don’t have to agree.
You kind of have to forgive kids when they’re being assholes. In truthfulness they probably don’t realize what they’re doing (until a certain age). They just want what they want when they want it and they don’t care about anyone or anything else. So when they decided they’re had enough sleep at 3 AM even though they went to sleep at 1 AM as a parent you’re like little asshole go to sleep but they just want to play. When they’re at the store and see a toy they just want it. They will throw a tantrum to get it and they don’t care how they look to you and others they just want the toy. In reality they’re being little assholes but to them they just want a toy.
The reason the whole ABC of Swearing Challenge started was because of an asshole. That’s right Arlee Bird we’re looking at you! So why are people assholes? Simply put because they (we) can.  

This post is part of ABC's of Swearing Challenge.