Do over. A chance to go back in time (if only we could) and correct a mistake which you made. Many (if not all) people would love to have at least one do over. Sometimes the do over is minor like remembering to buy flowers for your wife on your anniversary so that now you're not sleeping on the couch and other times its more serious. I think we can all say that when we were young we did things that we wish we hadn’t. I know there have been many times when I’ve said shit I can't believe I was so stupid/naive to do that I wish could have a do over to make so so right. Thankfully I’ve never done anything so terrible (except for one) that I’ll have to live with the consequences for the rest of my life. Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve done my share of stupid things (some very stupid things) but overall I don’t have anything major (except for this one thing). Honestly if I had a chance for a do over I wouldn't take it (except in one case). Why not you ask? Well because I’m petrified that if I did have a chance to do something over (like not date a particular guy) that my life would go in a completely different direction & I wouldn’t have my kids today. True I might have other kids & I’m sure I would love them just as much as these but THESE are mine and I can’t imagine having others. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. It might not be a right reason but all the choices that I’ve made so far have led me to where I am today. And even thought there are times when I wish things were different at the end of the day I have my kids and that’s the greatest wish that came true for me.
So what’s this one thing that I mentioned above? SMOKING. I started smoking when I was a teenager. Back then I never thought I would get addicted (see young and stupid above). It wasn’t peer pressure. I had the type of friends that literally begged me not to smoke. They were a couple of years older than me and were smokers themselves and basically told me that I would get addicted. I was all like “please never gonna happen. I’ll smoke a little and then I’ll stop”. Now almost 20 years later I’m still trying to stop. I’ve tried to stop more times than I care to count. I’ve gone for months not smoking but at the end I’ve always started again. I’m still not giving up because I do want to stop. I don’t want my kids to grow up and smoke “because that’s what mom and dad did so it’s ok”. My husband and I always tell them how stupid & dangerous it is to smoke but then we lite up and so we’re a bunch of hypocrites. There are so many times when I’m so sick and tired of smoking. I don’t even enjoy it most of the time. It’s the nicotine, it’s the drug that makes you do it over and over again even when you don’t want to. If I could go back in time I swear I wouldn’t think of taking a puff of a cigarette let alone smoking a whole one. I’m not giving up on the whole stop smoking thing and I know I’ll be successful at it one day I just hope it won’t be too late.
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