Get Me In The Mood...

As usual I went to bed last night exhausted. It was 10 and because I had decided to color my hair and my husband “couldn’t” put the kids to bed they had to wait for me till 10. As I was leaving hubs asked if I was coming back after they fell asleep and I said NO I’m tired which in turn he gave me a sad face that said “really I’m not getting any tonight” and he said but you go to bed early every night which made me think about a few things. Now don’t get me wrong I love my husband. If I had to do it all over again I would still chose him (probably, no seriously I would chose him...most likely). Yes he does a lot of things that annoy/get me mad but he also does so many sweet things and it reminds me why I picked him. With that said I decided to compile a list of things that my husband and probably any husband can do and also not do to get his wife in the “mood”.

Hint: Its the little things that matter guys

THINGS TO DO

1. Put the kids to bed. I get my kids to bed at 9 PM 99% of the time from Sunday – Thursday. On the weekends we let them stay up a little bit longer. Now my older one falls asleep right away. 2 minutes and he’s out. The little one is still in daycare and takes a nap during the day which means putting him to bed at 9 actually turns into 10, 10:30 before he’s asleep. That means I'm sitting next to him in the room waiting for him to fall asleep so I can get things done around the house. After sitting there for 1 ½ hrs I’m tired and all I want to do at that point is also go to sleep.
2. Washing the dishes before I come home from work. When I get home at 5:30 I like to start dinner right away. There is almost nothing that makes me go more crazy than when I see the sink FULL of dishes waiting for me when I get home. This means I have to wash the dishes first before I can start dinner and from that point everything gets pushed back and my mood is usually ruined. My husband works from home so he CAN do them before I get there.
3. Clean up the house a little before I get home from work. Now I’m not asking for full cleaning that includes vacuuming & dusting. All I’m asking is that if there are toys, juices boxes, plates and cups all over the living room just pick them up. This is a 5 minute job that really means a lot.
4. Take the kids out of the house on the weekends. Again I’m not asking for every weekend just sometimes. It would really help me if he took them out on a Saturday for say 4-5 hours so that I could clean the house nicely and still have time for myself and it would do a wonder for my mood.
5. Make dinner sometimes. Now I know a lot of men don’t know how to cook or hate to cook or think cooking is a woman’s job but trust me cooking a meal once in a while so I don’t have to every night would be wonderful. My husband is not the greatest cook but he can make a meal or two and when he does it’s almost a guarantee that he’s getting some. The problem is that he cooks like once a year or once every two years. More often would be better like once a month. Also for men that don’t know how to cook I’m sure you wife can show you a meal or two you could make that is simple.

THINGS NOT TO DO

1. SLEEPING IN EVERY WEEKEND. My husband likes to stay up late on the weekends which means he usually sleeps till 11. By the time he wakes up I’ve already been up for a least 4 hours and breakfast has been cook and served, dishes done, house somewhat clean and I’m pissed as hell cause I HAVE TO DO IT EVERY TIME. I would love to sleep in every once in a while (AKA more than once every 2 years). Also if you happen to let your wife sleep in please take care of the kids. This means when I wake up at say 10 or 11 the first thing I don't want to hear is mommy we're starving daddy hasn't give us anything to eat.
2. AFTER WAKING UP SPENDING ALL YOUR TIME IN FRONT OF THE TV OR COMPUTER. This goes back to number 1 when hubs finally wakes up he usually spends most of the day in front of the computer or TV if we don't have to go outside for something & expects me to do EVERYTHING and than once night time comes he’s like put the kids to bed so you know what. I just look at him like ARE YOU ON FUCKING CRACK. All day you haven’t done shit and now you expect something and you couldn’t even be bothered to help me out….HELL NO!!!
3. FEELING ME UP. Let me clarify this. Feeling me up while I am cooking, washing dishes or cleaning is not going to get me in the mood it will have the opposite affect and contrary to what men think grabbing my boobs while I’m doing house chores is not something that every women likes.
4. DOING A DANCE FOR ME TO GET ME IN THE MOOD. Let me clarify this. Last night my husband thought that in order to get me in a better mood he would do a dance for me. A sort of strip dance but with all the clothes still on cause the kids were somewhere in the house. This so annoyed me. I had just spent 5 minutes explaning to him that I was tired and going to bed and that I was tired BECAUSE I had been up since 5:30 that day, I had worked all day, came home washed dishes, made dinner, gave the kids a bath and cleaned the house a dozen times and had to wake up early the next day so that I could do the dishes again since I was tired at that moment to do them. Dancing for me is NOT HELPFUL. What would have helped?? If he had said let me put the kids to bed and than do the dishes for you so that you can actually relax a little. 

There you go. My mini list of Do’s and Don’ts to get me in the mood.

Oh and BTW when I woke up this morning he had washed the dishes (maybe he can read my mind), so yeah he’s probably getting some tonight.

If I could impress one lesson, ideal, or moral on my children, what would it be? - Theme Thursday

There are just so many. I love my kids. I know I complain about them and I complain to them, and I yell and I punish but at the end of the day I love my babies. I wouldn’t take back having them for anything in this world. They are my world. They make me laugh like no one can, piss me off that I want to send them off to a boarding school and make me cry till I’m all puffy and gross looking. But I love them and they are mine and I would do anything for them.

With that said there are so many things I want them to learn. Don’t steal, don’t cheat (life or your wife/girlfriend), don’t lie, don’t hit a woman unless she hits first then all rules out the door. I know some disagree with this but my thinking is why should a woman have a right to hit her man and not the other way around. Forget about men being stronger than woman, fair is fair. Use your tongue rather than your fists unless they hit first than beat the shit out of them…honestly I’m not a violent person despite what my last two sentences say I just want my kids to be able to stand up for themselves. Do good in school and no matter what get a college degree. It really does make a difference in life. Be good to your wife. Be a good father. Don’t just make kids, play with them, read them stories and be there for them when they need you. I would love for my kids to hold all these values and so many more close to their hears and minds but the most important one is be

HAPPY

That’s it….just be HAPPY.

I want them to know that life is hard. There will be some great joys and disappointments waiting for them. That they will shed so many more tears but at the same time they will laugh so hard they will pee in their pants. People will hurt them but that's all part of life and thru all of this I just want them to be

HAPPY

I want them to be happy about the choices they make & happy about the people that they’ve chosen to keep in their lives.

I want them to be able to see the "light at the end of the tunnel". To know that even thought today looks bad maybe tomorrow won't be and even if it is one day things will get better. There is nothing that scares the shit out of me more than the thought of my babies hurting themselves (suicide, cutting and other things). I can't imagine not having them around because they thought life was too hard for them/on them and they just couldn't go on. So I just want them to know that life will get better, there are so many wonderful things in this world to make them happy so please don't give up.

Life is too short not to enjoy it even when times are bad. Everyday is a gift so enjoy it and find something to make you happy today.

Like this post. Go and see what others have to say about this weeks topic for Theme Thursday

http://cloudywithachanceofwine.com/1397-2/

I GOT A SUNSHINE AWARD!!!

I went on my blog today to see if anyone made any comments for any stories I did. I like to check since I like to answer any comments that people make. So I go over and someone made a comment about my “What I would say to my 16 year old self” post BUT only did she comment on my post but she awarded me with the “Sunshine Award”. Thank you so much Its Not Like Its Rocket Surgery for the award. I couldn’t believe it. My first award!!

 

 

 

 

 

The Sunshine Award

So as part of getting the award there are rules to follow:

 

¨       I have to answer the 8 questions below

¨       Award 5 other bloggers that I think are cool.

1. What is your favorite Christmas/festive movie?

Miracle on 34^th Street

 

2. What is your favorite flower?

I don’t know if I have a favorite. Flowers in general are so beautiful & I love them all. If I had to chose it would be Tulips. They come in so many different colors and they smell so nice.

 

3. What is your favorite non – alcoholic beverage?

Coffee & water. It’s the only two non-alcoholic beverages that I drink.

4. What is your passion? 

Reading, I love reading. I can't even count how many books I've read so far, probably enought to fill a small library. My new passion is writing. I'm really starting to love writing.

5. What is your favorite time of year?

No question about it SUMMER. I absolutely love the summer. The warm weather, going to the beach, lake, Water Parks. I love going to Central Park in NY over the summer. The park is so big and there are so many things to do, you can stay all day and you won't get bored. The long lazy summer days. Not having to wear 10 layers of clothing.

 

6. What is your favorite time of day?

Late in the evening. When the kids are sleeping, the house is somewhat clean and I get to sit on the couch drink my coffee and relax in front of the tv.

7. What is your favorite physical activity?

Is it really bad to say I have none? I use to love soccer & tennis but I haven’t had time for any in the last couple of years. Maybe when the kids are older. I would love to play those sports again.

8. What is your favorite vacation?

Any place that either has a pool or a beach. We went to Florida last year for a week and it was the best vacation ever. We stood in a hotel that had 2 outdoor pools, 1 indoor and our balcony faced the white sand beaches. It was awesome!! So great that the kids still mention it from time to time.

Below is a list of some of my favorite blogs. Go check them out and see why I love them!!

Cloudy, with a chance of wine

The Insomniac's Dream

A Grace Full Life

Something Clever 2.0

First Time Mom and Dad

What I would say to my 16 year old self

Some months ago I read a blog (I can’t remember which one so I’m sorry I can’t give credit) about what I would say to my younger self. It got me thinking and here are the 16 things I would say to my 16yr old self if I could.

1.      Dating a 22yrd old is not cool; it makes him a child molester…period

2.      Don’t even think about smoking. They’re not cool, they cost a fortune and it will take you many years to come to your senses and try to quit and that shit is so hard to do

3.      Finish school and by school I mean college…get a degree, a high school diploma will get you nowhere

4.      You are not an adult and you don't know everything. Stop acting like you are….you look stupid

5.      When you have kids your house is going to be messy and your kids will not listen to everything you say

6.      There is nothing better in life than hearing your child say mama for the first time

7.      Getting married and having kids is not a guarantee that you will get to stay home, many woman work. This goes back to #3

8.      Your mom will not help you when you’re an adult, don’t count on her (this is probably a post of its own…someday)

9.      Go visit the Twin Towers they won’t be there forever

10.  Showing your stomach may seem cool now but that shit will come back to bite you in the ass when you’re older and you back hurts when it gets a little cold outside… cover yourself girl, I'm dying over here

11.  You’ll get your heart broken, its ok, its all part of life

12.  Wearing designer brands is not the most important thing and when you have kids you won't be able to afford it anyway

13.  You have great friends, they will be a great support system for you when you need them and you’ll be theirs

14.  People that you know will die and you will cry a lot but its all part of life so enjoy your time with them before its too late

15.  Life is hard

16.  Sometimes the little things will matter the most

How Having Kids Kills Your Sex Life - Theme Thursday

This week I was asked by the wonderful http://cloudywithachanceofwine.com/ to participate in Theme Thursday. This week’s theme is “How Having Kids Kills Your Sex Life”.  At first I didn’t think I could do this theme cause let me be honest my sex life is dead…right?? Well not completely so after thinking about it for some time here it is.

When I first met my husband we were in our early 20’s. We were in our prime and we took full advantage of the situation. It was all the time….didn‘t matter when or where. Our best was 8 times in one day…hell yeah I’m bragging!!. Now I’m just no longer in the mood. After waking up early, going to work, coming home cooking dinner, doing homework, giving the kids a shower & put them to bed the last thing on my mind is sex. At that point all I want to do is sleep ALONE!!!

v     When we were young our bodies were tight, lean and fit…now after about 10 minutes we have to take a break or one of us will have a heart attack.

v     Let me put it this way; We have two places where the deed is done

•       In the bathroom (this is what we call being "spontaneous") while I hold on to dear life to the sink
•       In the "kids bedroom (our kids sleep with me in the big bed)", cause nothing says romance like twin size bunk beds with super Mario & Lightning McQueen cheering you on.

v     Romance now a days is “ok the kids are asleep and I need to go to bed early cause I need to wake up early for work so I can give you a fast 5 minutes…go, go, go”

v     There is no morning sex….the kids always wake up before us

v     There is not spontaneous sex…the kids are always there

v     Having sex for a long time use to be for 2 hrs, now 30 minutes means its his birthday. I never have to buy him a gift anymore!!

v     Lingerie means I’m not wearing grandma underwear

v     Before kids its was 3 to 4 times a week now we’re lucky to do it once a week although once every two weeks is more like it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and even thought we're not that young anymore and we have so many more responsibilities then before I still find him very attractive, it's just having two full time jobs (work and home) with two small kids is very exhausting. We try to make time for each other but after doing everything we can to make some time for us we’re exhausted from all the work of preparing the time that we end up sleeping or just relaxing on the couch.  We’re hoping once the kids move out we’ll have more time but than we’ll be in our 50’s which will create a whole new set of problems.

Go and check out what other bloggers have to say about this topic
http://cloudywithachanceofwine.com/1397-2/

CREAM & PADS

I’ll be the first to admit to….I’ve been really bad when it comes to blogging lately. I haven’t done it in two weeks!! I blame Hurricane Sandy and my period for this. I just haven’t been in the mood and I’ve had no inspiration. A lot of people have been blogging about Sandy and the elections. Hurricane Sandy brought tragedy to the east coast that no one thought it would, or at least I didn’t. I remembered Hurricane Irene last year and thought this one was going to be like it but damn her Hurricane Sandy kick our ass, but we’re strong and will get through this one day at a time. As for the elections I just didn’t follow it much this year.

Fair warning: If any men are reading this you might not like this post so much, although if you have a wife I’m sure you’re use to this already.

So I’ve been really kicking myself for not blogging and as I got out of the shower and reached for my face cream it HIT ME! I’m out of cream again...son of a bitch! Now I just bought this cream not too long ago and I just knew that it couldn’t be that I didn’t have anymore. It’s this small cream that cost a fortune ($22) for me so I use it only on my face and only as much as I need. So I put it up to the light and wouldn’t you know it the bottle it half full but the pump won’t pump anymore. This got me thinking about the last cream that I bought that I also “ran out” not too long after I got it. I put that one to the light and HA it was also almost half full! So I came to the only conclusion that is logical…The Aveeno Company is trying to screw us consumers! Those fuckers!! I’m not having it. So I did what any other hard working individual would do in my situation; I cut open the bottle and now I’m going to dip my finger inside a little everyday until I use up THE WHOLE BOTTLE! There is no way in HELL I’m going to spend $22 for a bottle and essentially throw away $11. What is wrong with these companies? Do they really think people in this economy or in general have money to throw away? How dare they….maybe I should write them a letter….hmmmm.

The other thing that I’m really pissed off about is my periods pads. We woman are to some extent creatures of habit and I’m sure I’m not the only woman that has a particular brand and size of pads that she’s been using for years. It took me a while to figure out which brand I like and I’ve stood by their side for years. It’s the only ones that really “protect” me. Recently I went to my local BJ’s to buy more (this bitch comes every month, maybe I should get pregnant again) and they didn’t have my "type" in that brand BUT they did have something that looked very similar (color and size) to the one that I use and I had to get something so I got that one. Let me tell you something this shit is not the same and the worst part is they don’t even make my kind anymore!! Why would you do this to me Always? I’ve been loyal to you for years and want to continue to be loyal. Don’t do me like this? It’s hard enough having to deal with this bitch every month at least give me some comfort. Did they not hear of the saying “if it’s not broken don’t fix it”. These new ones are bullshit. They’re all weird shaped and the material is just not right. I used one and ugh I’m so pissed!

My beloved pads!!

The fake imitation

I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I guess in time I’ll get use to them but for now I’m a very pissed woman…period.