One of those days

So today started off pretty good. It’s Theme Thursday and the topic was “Wedding Story”. I loved writing that post. It reminded me of when my husband and I met, how we fell in love and our somewhat unconventional path to the alter…twice. Naturally I thought this feeling of love would last throughout the day. Fuck was I ever wrong. It was all good in the neighborhood till I got home. Then I was reminded why sometimes I feel like divorcing my husband and kids TWICE. Thankfully The Insomniac’s Dream gave me a wonderful idea, she said blog it, it gives you more than 140 characters. So here I am…venting.

How pissed off I am at my husband and at my kids a little. I realize they are just children and don’t know any better. IT’S HIM THAT GETS ME MAD. Don’t tell me not to yell at them when you hardly ever do anything. I’m the one that has to feed them, bath them, get the homework done, make sure they brush their teeth & go to school with clean clothes. While Mr. “I don’t yell at the kids” plays Mafia Wars and watches TV. So when they do something bad who’s left to yell and get their little asses in shape…ME. I hate that most of the time when it comes to telling the kids what to do/not to do and getting shit done it’s all up to me. Why men feel like they should do minimal work when it comes to their home because they have jobs. News flash fucker SO DO I!!! That don’t mean shit anymore. Yes there are moms that stay home but I’m not one of them. I wake up early every day. I iron the kids clothes before I go to work, work all day and when I get home the thing that gets me the most mad is when he says “Oh thank God you’re home, I’m so tired I’m going to go take a nap”. Meanwhile he’s been with the kids for 2 ½ at this point. So what happens?? Well I wash the dishes from the whole day that he and the kids made, make dinner, feed the kids, wash dishes, give the kids a shower, put them to bed and then take a shower myself and maybe if its not too late stay up a little bit and relax….I DO THIS EVERYDAY!!!

Now to give him credit he has started putting them to bed which is why I do have time to do this blog tonight and now that I’ve had time to vent a little I do feel better and I know he’ll do something nice tomorrow cause he sees I’m mad and than I’ll feel bad and than we’ll be ok for some time until he pisses me off again. Truth is he’s no worse and for some things better than most men I know. He's just my husband and that makes it my headache. ONE MORE HEACHE TO DEAL WITH!! Time to go take a long shower.

I married the same man twice...sort of! - Theme Thursday

Some time ago I was going to blog about my wedding story and as it turns out Something Clever 2.0  decided to have a Theme Thursday topic about this. I’ve been with my husband for about 12 years. Of those we’ve been legally married for 8 ½ and 6 ½ in the church. My wedding story has two parts.

I’ve lived in America for over 22 years. When I was 21 I went on a summer vacation back to my country. I had no intentions on meeting anyone for long term. There were many stories of men and women marrying people in America just for the green cards. I didn’t want to be one of those. So I vowed not to fall in love. Of course my heart had other intentions and as it happened I met my future husband on the second day I arrived and we started dating on the third. Even at that time I didn’t think anything serious was going to happen; I thought it was just going to be a summer fling but this turned into a lot more. We ended up dating with me going back and forth for a couple of years. It was really hard for us. We were young and in love and wanted to spend every waking moment together. He tried to get a visitors visa a few times but was denied every time. It’s really hard convincing an American consulate that you plan to come back when you’re young and they know you’re going to America to see your girlfriend. Anyway after about 4 years of this we decided we had enough and were ready to start our life together. I applied for a fiancé visa for him and lucky he got it and he came in February 2004. On April 2, 2004 we got legally married.

I didn’t know what getting married in City Hall meant. This has to be the most unromantic way to get married. We were brought into a room with about 30 other couples and some you could just tell were “in love” & not getting married for “papers”. Every couple of minutes a couple would go into a room and come out about 5 minutes later. We thought they all filled out the paper work wrong. Surly it can’t be that the wedding ceremony lasts only 5 minutes…right? WRONG!!! The ceremony really is that quick. We couldn’t believe it. We went in there and the guy started talking so fast I don’t even remember if we even said I do all I remember is the guy said “CONGRATULATIONS YOU’RE MARRIED”. We both look at each other like WHAT THE FUCK that’s it??? It was so quick our friends that were there with us didn’t even get to take decent pictures. After that we all went out for a lunch and at night for some drinks and BAM we were husband and wife.

Now the only reason we did the whole City Hall thing was because with a fiancé visa you have to get married within 3 months or the person coming to America looses their visa and even if they get married say 6 months later they would not get their green card. We had always planned to make a wedding. We wanted our families and friends to celebrate this day with us. The original plan was to return to our country either that summer or the latest the summer of 2005 and make a big wedding with the church and reception. So why did we end up getting married in the summer of 2006 you ask, well because I got unexpectedly pregnant in the winter of 2004 and my son wasn’t born until September 2005. I was not going to travel while 7 months pregnant and no way was I wearing a wedding dress when I was HUGE!!!

As the summer of 2006 approach my husband and I really go into the whole planning. We tried to do as much as we could while in American since our wedding was going to be in Europe. I got the dress, him the suite, a little suite for our little guy, people were called and invited (no wedding invitations are done over there). As much as we tried to do everything right there are always disasters & some beyond our control.

First I had been going to the same hair dresser for years. I loved this woman and recommended her to everyone. I went to her a couple of days before I was due to leave for Europe and told her to color my hair platinum blond for MY WEDDING!!! I had been going to her for a couple of months before just to lighten my hair gradually so that the last time I colored it would be perfect. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not really girly girly but this was my wedding, I wanted to look nice. After my hair was done it turn out yellow NOT PLATINUM BLOND. I was like WHAT THE FUCK I told you I wanted platinum blond not YELLOW. Let me just rewind for a minute. Before she started to color it I asked her can you get it platinum blond if not than tell me now so that my hair is not yellow. She said of course I can. So you can understand why I was pissed as hell. I didn’t even pay her for the fucked up job she did and I never went back. Luckily I was leaving the country about a month before my wedding so I was able to get the color I wanted for A LOT CHEAPER in Europe.

Second 2 weeks before the wedding my father-in-laws sister died. She was sick and everyone was expecting her to die we were all just praying that it happened after our wedding. When she died I thought that was it for my wedding. Our traditions and customs are different than here in America. My father-in-law could have easily said no wedding since his sister died. I luckily have the best in-laws on the planet not just for this but for so many other reasons that he didn’t even think about canceling our wedding.

Third a week before our wedding the guy where we were renting the hall from gets into a car accident and dies. So now I’m thinking is someone trying to give me a hint? Should I not marry this guy? Of course it was too late. I had already married him legally 2 ½ years ago and had a child with him. I was going to marry him one way or another. Thankfully the guy had a son who willingly stepped up and did everything for us so our wedding day could be beautiful and just right.

On a warm summer day in August 2006 my husband and I got married in a church in front of all our friends and family. The reception was great. Everyone had a great time. The servers were wonderful. They made sure there was always food on the table and everyone’s glass was full. People say it was the best wedding they had been to in a long time. Even now every once in a while someone will comment on our wedding and say it was still the most fun. We had people drunk, dancing till 3 in the morning.

Even thought we definitely had some bumps in the road and there were times when I thought we shouldn’t get married I’m glad I chose him at the end. Yes we drive each other crazy and I think often of ways to eliminate him (joking…mostly) if I had to do it all over again I would still chose him.

If you would like to read what others have to say about Theme Thursday "Wedding Story" click on the link below.

Why I love / hate Christmas

Why I love/hate Christmas

It’s December so what does that mean? Well if you live in New York like me here’s what it means:

-  The weather is getting colder; big jackets, gloves, ear muffs, hats and scarf’s are coming out.

-   People are so over Thanksgiving and some are looking forward to Christmas

-  The turkey decorations come down and Santa Clause and Snow Flakes go up

-  Kids start making demands what they want for Christmas

So how do I feel about Christmas, mostly I love it but part of me hates it.

Why I Love Christmas

1. The decorations – I love the store displays. Some stores really go all out for the holidays. The lights just memorize me and the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center. It really is a sight to see.

The sales – Around the holidays there are always sales everywhere. It’s probably one of the best times to save money. You can get things for Christmas but also  for the whole year that you will need for a lot less

My kids faces on Christmas morning – Nothing beats there excitement. I can’t even get them to wash their face or pee before they make a run for the Christmas tree. This is probably one of the few days out of the year where they don’t ask me a question every 5 minutes. They're so preoccupied with all the new things I can actually enjoy a cup of coffee.

Days off from work -  Need I say more about this

Why I Hate Christmas

Rude people – The holidays can bring out the best but also the worst in people. Shoppers are the worst. They push, shove and have absolutely no consideration for anyone but them selves like they’re the only ones trying to get a toy for their kid.

The tourists – This goes back to my earlier post about all the tourists where I work. I guess many people take off during the holiday season and they ALL come by my job so as usual it takes FOREVER to walk a block.

Money – This is for Christmas tree, Christmas decorations (you can use the old ones for only so long) and lets not forget the presents. Long gone are days of $10-15 gifts for a kid and you were done. Kids these days have huge list of what they want. Of course they aren’t getting all those things but nevertheless since we don’t buy our kids many toys during the year we kind of go overboard for Christmas. For example this year we are spending about $400 per child. $800 for Christmas…yes I hate Christmas, but I guess that’s mostly our fault for spending that much, although I like to look at it if there wasn’t Christmas I wouldn’t have the need to spend all that money, so its Christmases fault.

There it is. My reasons. I mostly do love Christmas. I love how much my kids get excited about Christmas. I love our Christmas Tree and I love that I get spend the holidays with my own little family.



If you would like to read what others have to say about Theme Thursday "Why I love/hate Christmas" click on the link below.