tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post6118566985277850176..comments2023-04-03T22:29:24.010-07:00Comments on Things That Happen Everyday: Parenting???Things That Happen Everydayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09998076656667233767noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-5069106511260804492013-04-16T17:31:05.560-07:002013-04-16T17:31:05.560-07:00First let me say I'm sorry about losing your c...First let me say I'm sorry about losing your child. I've never experienced the loss of a child so I'm no one to speak how painful or whatever emotions people experience when they lose a child. My point and only point was that I felt she posted too soon. I understand that different people grief different ways and while others want to see/speak to no one others want to be surrounded by family and friends and even strangers in person or virtually because that is how they deal with pain. I don't judge how people deal with pain. The only judgment I passed on her was that I felt she posted this too soon (it had been less than a day since her child had died). I was thinking of myself in that situation and I felt I couldn't go on FB to post the loss of my child less than a day after it happened. Maybe I would do it after some days/weeks/months but this is just the way I am. Different people deal with pain different ways & I guess I shouldn't have judged her but I was shocked that she posted this (again too soon in my opinion). Things That Happen Everydayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09998076656667233767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-19710092785831189762013-04-16T08:43:50.718-07:002013-04-16T08:43:50.718-07:00We all grieve differently. Great post!We all grieve differently. Great post!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06539450247631193231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-33526227049321084182013-04-16T08:42:37.161-07:002013-04-16T08:42:37.161-07:00Ok, only here's the other thing. I have friend...Ok, only here's the other thing. I have friends who live all over the world on fb. I get that it may be upsetting to read. I've lost a baby myself. But how is posting it on fb different from setting up a Care Page or whatever those are to update ppl on someone who is ill? We all have different levels of comfort about sharing things on social media. It's not for me to say. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06539450247631193231noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-59483987267406824892013-04-16T06:50:49.424-07:002013-04-16T06:50:49.424-07:00As a mother of an infant that died, I can play dev...As a mother of an infant that died, I can play devil's advocate here. When Tiny Angel passed away nearly 15 years ago, it was before the time of Social Media. But you bet your fucking ass I was on the phone, knocking on doors, looking for any and all support I could get . . . <br /><br />She was perhaps looking for that, for support... I wouldn't judge her. We all grieve differently and when you lose a child (I speak from experience) a part of your mind is lost, you are temporarily insane, crazy, and there is no such thing as common sense... Just you, the pain and hurt, reeling in a world that no longer makes sense, this static, buzzing in your head as you flounder for purchase, for support, to stay standing and not die.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06231922980715991550noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-59469876015267257642013-03-07T22:09:42.837-08:002013-03-07T22:09:42.837-08:00I guess what I'm thinking is...what if she DID...I guess what I'm thinking is...what if she DID want attention? What if she DID want every person she knows to feel her pain and pity her? Is that wrong? <br /><br />When we suffer (some of us) we want comfort from others. We WANT attention. We're programed from birth to wail when we hurt ourselves, to grab at what we need. Nowadays FB can make that wail go further and louder. <br /><br />Unless you're worried she KILLED her child for attention purposes. Is she the kind who would???<br /><br /> Theresehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12548448958613700678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-78557146192829808232013-03-07T14:46:57.101-08:002013-03-07T14:46:57.101-08:00It doesn't have to be Facebook per se, but i c...It doesn't have to be Facebook per se, but i can absolutely understand someone using some form of social media to notify family/friends/colleagues/whatever about something BIG, be that a tragedy such as this one, or something more positive. Some people use Facebook in a casual way, to maybe play some games, post a few photos, spy on old classmates, whatever, others use it as a way to keep in touch with close family and friends who live far away, and as a way to be open and honest about themselves and their emotions and experiences, especially if they find that difficult to do in person, or over the phone. When my son was born I didn't call up hundreds of people telling them, I was elated but exhausted so I sent a text message to a few people close to me, and the next day I, you guessed it, posted on Facebook. It's a way to reach out to a lot of people, and to control what you say and how you say it because it allows you time to think about what you're going to write, and you can always delete it later, unlike a face to face or phone conversation. I'm pretty sure that within hours of being told my Dad had died I had posted on Facebook about how grateful I was to have my newborn son to hold on such a sad day, and the support I got didn't make it all better, my Dad was still dead, but it was good to know I was loved and supported, and I imagine it's the same for this poor mother too.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03230756484782734718noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-60748933514103316812013-03-07T12:41:06.418-08:002013-03-07T12:41:06.418-08:00I can totally understand why she would post it on ...I can totally understand why she would post it on Facebook. Facebook HAS become my lifeline after living in one place for 32 years and then moving 650 miles away from everyone I know and love. If something horrific like this happened, the ONLY thing I would have the energy to do would be to post a short FB status update. I would not, COULD not, pick up the phone and call people to tell them. I would HAVE to focus on my children who still needed me to be their mom. <br /><br />I can 100% see why she would post this on Facebook. My friends, they know this about me and would totally get why I would do it too.<br /><br />Facebook is something different to every single person, just like parenting styles are different for every single person.lorihokiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04603712673095340125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-88678051094468699722013-03-07T12:10:05.007-08:002013-03-07T12:10:05.007-08:00I honestly do agree with you that maybe she was in...I honestly do agree with you that maybe she was in shock and maybe didn't even realize what she was doing when she posted this on FB. I never had anyone very close to me die so I'm not sure how I would react if something like that had happened to me. I just hope that she wasn't doing to for "attention seeking purpose".Things That Happen Everydayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09998076656667233767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-85107121945002792122013-03-07T11:03:51.078-08:002013-03-07T11:03:51.078-08:00It was a "note"...the length of a blog p...It was a "note"...the length of a blog post but I put it on my Facebook. Of course, I try to keep my facebook to people I explicitly like and care about...but I probably would have done it anyway. I was hurting and kinda stumbling. Theresehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12548448958613700678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-67783087832196428702013-03-07T11:00:15.938-08:002013-03-07T11:00:15.938-08:00A blog post makes more sense to me, since so many ...A blog post makes more sense to me, since so many bloggers say they do it for the :free therapy."Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0https://www.blogger.com/profile/01286074881865297507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-52759483689799761762013-03-07T10:57:59.176-08:002013-03-07T10:57:59.176-08:00I wrote a very long blog/FB entry the night my mom...I wrote a very long blog/FB entry the night my mom unexpectedly died, maybe two hours after I held her in my arms, sobbing why she stopped breathing. I don't know why I did it. But it made me feel better, and the outpouring of sympathy it garnered made me feel better too. It never occurred to me to be ashamed of it. <br /><br />If my child died, and I wanted to strip naked that very morning and wear a sandwich board declaring the fact on the highway, I would hope no one would think less of me, that I was selfish or attention seeking. I'd hope they'd say, "She's in shock. Unimaginable shock we can't even fathom." <br /><br />You don't know her motivation, but please give her the benefit of the doubt that it was pure, and coming from a place of blinding pain. It's so much worse that her baby died. That she made the faux pas of posting it on facebook seems so small by comparison. <br /><br />And ps...it takes balls for a private person to write a post that could bring conflict to her, so I really applaud you writing outside your comfort zone. It was a really intense read. Theresehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12548448958613700678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-69252496708420691522013-03-07T10:45:19.646-08:002013-03-07T10:45:19.646-08:00I can't remember if anyone "liked" h...I can't remember if anyone "liked" her status, I was in shock of finding out that she posed this. I hope that you're right and that many people were calling her and she just wanted people to stop and posed it on FB so everyone could see. Oh and I know a couple of attention seekers and I swear they make me sick!!!! I really hope that she didn't do it for the attention.Things That Happen Everydayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09998076656667233767noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-388932046181971147.post-76453993691501293072013-03-07T10:36:19.820-08:002013-03-07T10:36:19.820-08:00Ok, that is REALLY WEIRD. I am Captain Facebook an...Ok, that is REALLY WEIRD. I am Captain Facebook and I wouldn't do that. I'm trying to look at it from every angle, and all I can think is, maybe she was getting inundated with calls and texts and whatnot, and rather than have to go over her story again and again, she thought it would be easier to post it on Facebook so that people would stop bothering her? I'm sure she's not completely in her right mind right now. <br /><br />But I have to admit, the first thing that occurred to me was Munchausen-by-Proxy. I know someone like that. They had someone close die, and got all kinds of attention, and this person is now addicted to it. If their neighbor stubs their toe, it's all, "Poor me, everybody, my neighbor stubbed his toe and I'm just in AGONY over it!" Anyway, I'm hoping I'm right about option one.<br /><br />And I have to ask, did any morons "Like" her status?Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0https://www.blogger.com/profile/01286074881865297507noreply@blogger.com